Is it growing old, the dark, cancer, death? We all have our fears, but how to deal with them so that our stress levels don't get blown sky-high?
Let's take ‘growing old'. If you talk to youngsters and ask them how they view the old people they pass on the city streets, often they will laugh and say things that indicate the old are aliens from another planet. The truth is that children need educating. Those old people are not ‘aliens': it is me in the future! The clothes the old people wear are not a sign that they haven't a clue about fashion, but simply that they choose to continue wearing the ‘fashion' from their own youth. What I'm trying to say is that education is one way of dealing with the fear of growing old.
Maybe you fear the very process of death and the aftermath. In ancient and some current third-world societies, children are exposed to death in a very real sense. They are taken to look at the recently-deceased member of their family, to show respect for the dead. There is often a serenity on the face of a dead person which can dispel all fears about dying. My late father used to say: you must remember me often and quote some of my sayings; in that way, I can live on. This is good advice because by so doing you can ease your own mind by remembering them when they were living and so help your own grieving process.
For other fears, the process of relieving stress may be different. Using positive self-talk is one way, or thought-stopping techniques, and by breaking an overwhelming problem into its smallest parts.
In addition, here are some other techniques you can use to manage your anxiety problems.
Learn to take things one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide you with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.
A good way to manage your fear is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make you fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense.
Sometimes you might be scared about a forthcoming project. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. By so doing, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes.
Of course, dealing with fears and anxieties is not just about how to relax your mind. Sometimes, what I call ‘constructive negativism' can help a lot. By this, I mean that you can physically do things that can help to allay your stress. Simply by going to talk to people like your bank manager or your solicitor, for example, can help enormously. Better sometimes to confront a nagging problem than leave it festering. ‘Lance that boil now; it might be momentarily painful but only then can it begin to heal'.
In time, you will be able to identify those resources that will help you with your problems - whatever form they take, whether large or small.
Above all, there are people who can help you with your anxieties. Either confront the specific problem head-on, or consult a mental health therapist who can help you cope. Do not leave it to fester!
