Uticopa Blog

Famous personalities who have struggled against depression include Winston Churchill, Princess Diana, Jim Carrey, Leo Tolstoy, Harrison Ford and Boris Yeltsin.

All exhibited similar traits. They were intelligent, articulate individuals, raised in ‘normal’ families and benefiting from the love and support of those around them. None were reclusive hermits, many held firm religious convictions, yet they all still suffered from the seriousness of clinical depression.

Just consider the suffering of Princess Diana, for example. Despite the fact that she cried out her troubles out loud on our television screens and in our daily newspapers, did anyone really listen?  Despite the fact that she desperately wanted others to love her – as evidenced by her immense charity work around the world – her depression manifested itself in many ways, including bulimia.

You may well say that if famous people like these have suffered from depression, men and women, what chance have I?  Unless you have struggled with depression yourself it is almost impossible to grasp the vast difference between clinical depression and the normal sadness that we feel from time to time. 

The only way to possibly understand is to read stories of ordinary people – not those in glossy magazines or on television – but ordinary people. The following two stories, one by a man, one by a woman, help us understand the profound sense of hopelessness, helplessness and despondency that blackens the lives of those fighting depression and may help you avoid downplaying or minimising the experience of depression of someone you know.

Kevin’s story

"It was about a month after starting my new job, that I started having crying fits and felt out-of-sorts all the time. There was this burning ache in my chest that wouldn't go away. Even though my duties at work were light, everything seemed impossible to do, and just walking through the door was intimidating. I began confiding in a couple of friends that something was terribly wrong, and they just listened - which for a while was very comforting, but it began to ring hollow within a couple of months. By September, I was depressed nearly all the time, and didn't want to talk to anyone for any reason - mostly because I didn't want to sadden them. I was withdrawn, even at work. At some point, the notion that I'd be like that for the rest of my life became unbearable. The result of that was that I started thinking about suicide. I imagined all sorts of neat and clean ways to do myself in. After a week of intermittent suicidal thoughts, it finally occurred to me that this wasn't right. By this point, I knew I needed help. Still, I put it off. The embarrassment of telling my doctor, and the fear that I wouldn't get better, nearly paralysed me. But one day, I broke down at work and couldn’t stop crying for half an hour. No one was around, thankfully, but the chance that someone might have seen me was enough. The embarrassment of asking for help couldn't be worse than having co-workers come across me like that."

Nicola’s story

"For me, depression was disabling. I was tired all the time, no energy, weak, sad, no appetite. I had a hard time getting out of bed, hard time taking care of the kids. I didn't want to go to work, and just wasn't motivated at all. I felt overwhelmed a lot. I felt tired a lot. It felt like I was dying inside. I wanted to cry, and after a certain point, I didn't want to cry anymore. The sadness was overwhelming, and it kept me from doing any of the things that people want to do to take care of themselves, to take care of their families. It feels like you have no air. I suffered from depression for about six years, needlessly, because I feel like that's just wasted time. Six years lost. When I first tried to find out whether I had depression, the doctors thought it was a physical problem because I had a lot of vague aches and pains. I had trouble sleeping, so during the day I had fatigue. I had gastric upsets, some reflux, just general stomach aches."

"At one point, the hopelessness was so bad I didn't have the energy to do anything. I think if I would have had the energy to, I would have taken my life. I had no sense of tomorrow. I couldn't find any hope or happiness in taking care of my children or in taking care of myself. I tried to find some reason to get up the next day and I couldn't find that."

Names have been changed.

What both the above accounts highlight is that depression is not only very serious but very misunderstood. Those who suffer must seek professional help. Medication, therapy, or a combination of both are usually prescribed and can successfully help turn one's life around.

If you know somebody who appears to be suffering from depression, don't minimise their struggle by telling them to look on the bright side of things. Help them to get the professional support they need.