Uticopa Forums

A friend of mine has terrible problems with addiction. A few years ago his alcohol and drug addiction got so bad that I made the difficult decision to break contact with him because he was so out of control. Myself and his other friends and family had tried really hard to support him to no avail. He fell out with several friends after allegedly stealing money from them, and it became harder and harder to trust him. For my own sake I distanced myself from my friend and his destructive behaviour for a couple of years.

We recently met again and I was pleased to hear he had stopped drinking and taking drugs (after things had become much worse in his life). He seemed much happier and was regularly going to the gym. We started socialising again, but the conversation always seemed to revolve around him and his issues (his partner had left him because of his addiction) and he seemed to be as self-absorbed as he was when he was taking drugs. He has now started playing online poker. He keeps boasting about the amount of money he has been winning but I'm concerned that he has just replaced one addiction with another. I'm starting to wonder if I can trust him or if he will always fall into these patterns of addictive behaviour.

Should I tell him my concerns? He was not very responsive to this before, not until he had reached rock bottom. I care for my friend but being around him is hard work, he seems to take all your energy and give nothing back.

I wonder if your friend might find it easier to talk to a complete stranger? I found talking to my therapist a lot easier than talking to my friends about my problems. It is understandable that you are upset and really care for your friend, and I think you can bring this up, but if you feel he is not responding or avoiding the subject, perhaps you can suggest to him to see a therapist? The thing with the therapy is, your friend really needs to want to change or do something about it, so may be finding people that have been through similar problems would help. Even keeping an eye on this forum might help...