Possible Causes Of Low Confidence & Self Esteem

Almost anything that could knock our confidence about ourselves, about others or about life can cause self-esteem issues:

Our health

How we feel, physically and mentally, affects our self-esteem. Anything that threatens our wellbeing can quickly erode confidence in ourselves, in how others see us and in our potential for the future.

Loss

Anything which proves that we have less control over our destiny than we thought can potentially rock our self-esteem. The loss of a parent, child, close family member or friend; the loss of a business; and for a child moving home or school, the loss of a parent’s attention or affection, or the loss of the family pet can all affect one’s self-esteem.

Powerlessness

When someone else exerts their power over you to take something from you, your ego, confidence and self-esteem can suffer. Examples of this would be being made redundant or being fired, being a victim of a crime, racism, sexism or prejudice.

Learned experiences

If you are told something enough times in childhood you may begin to believe them. Being told that because of who you are you cannot do certain things, own certain things or go certain places, you may grow up to believe that your place in society is at the bottom. This can apply to a whole race of people, as this is how racism was perpetuated through many generations in many societies. But it can apply just as well to an individual who is told by their family, friends or society that they are just not good enough. To relearn that you are a valuable member of a family, school, workplace or society is a difficult process, but essential if you are going to achieve your true potential in life, even if that is simply to be happy.

People

The school bully who makes you feel small, the office bully who takes away your dignity, the older brother who likes to keep you in your place, the parent who beats you, or the friends who disrespect you. All of these things can contribute to a loss of self-esteem. As adults we feel that bullying should be behind us and that we are the masters of our own destiny, so when the boss starts to belittle you, takes advantage of your good nature or overlook you for the promotion he’s been promising you, your confidence can take quite a knock.

Domestic violence

Whether by a parent, a sibling or another family member, violence in the home can be extremely damaging to a child’s self-esteem. The violence does not even need to be extreme; it just needs to be prolonged and unnoticed or ignored by others to have a deep emotional effect on a child that can result in low self-esteem in adulthood.