In today's world of rush, rush, rush, there's often no time to say goodbye to a loved one when they die. Yet, our priorities must change. Dying is a part of life. It can't be avoided, however much we wish it, and must be accepted and dealt with.
Let's say it's been two years since your father died and your mom still won't go out socially or stop talking about wanting to join him. Similarly, perhaps you can't shake a sense of meaninglessness into your life as the anniversary approaches of the death of someone close to you. This is exactly what prolonged grief disorder is all about.
Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD), previously called complicated grief, has now become a recognized mental disorder. Researchers at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston developed and tested standard criteria for identifying the condition, based on the input of a team of experts in bereavement and mood/anxiety disorders. It is shortly to be included in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DMV-5), the psychiatric care bible for diagnosing problems. The research was done with widows and widowers but is also applicable to the general population.
Wasn't it a past US president who said ‘there are two sure things in life: death and taxes'? He was absolutely right, and he wasn't alone. Poets, professors, priests, and the ordinary man in the street have always talked about what unites us all: in a word, death.
But, what makes a ‘good death'? Is there such a thing? And how can each of us come to terms with the inevitability of what is facing us?
Education and preparedness is the route. It's only by understanding and planning for what is to come that we can avoid the stress, anguish and mental unhealthiness that follows avoidance and denial. In truth, death is nearly as unique as the life that came before it - shaped by the attitudes, physical condition, medical treatments, and mix of people that accompanies it.
Do these symptoms sound familiar to you? Fatigue. Insomnia. Loss of appetite. Aches and pains. Most of us with these symptoms usually assume we're suffering from an ailment that's physical. Sometimes we're right. But, how often do we realise that what is really wrong is depression?
Even in good times, there are millions of new cases of depression every year. Yet many of those people - more than a third, according to a recent report by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration - never receive treatment. This is despite the fact that nowadays there are more ways than ever to get help.
One reason is simple confusion over what the illness feels like. The common idea that depression means ‘feeling sad' has a lot of truth to it. Other symptoms could be emotional numbness, a sense of worthlessness, hopelessness, even thoughts of suicide. But for many people, the experience is a bit more blurry - a series of changes affecting them not just emotionally but also physically and mentally.
Posted by: Uticopa in dementia on
Sep 22, 2009
With around 163,000 new diagnoses every year, dementia has been described as ‘one of the greatest challenges for medicine, nursing and society in the twenty-first century'. We're told that the number of people aged over 65 years is expected to increase by more than 60% in the next 25 years. In fact, while an estimated 700,000 people are currently diagnosed with dementia, 15,000 of them young people, this figure is expected to increase to one million by 2025. This is likely to be a major underestimate by up to three times because of the way the data relies on referrals to services.
The thought of one million people, and more, with dementia is a frightening prospect. Some nurses tell us that they received absolutely no education on dementia at university. Conclusion? They need to provide some! If such a crucial area of health care is being ignored by our univerisities, it gives the impression that it isn't very important, which belittles those with dementia.
Interestingly, two thirds of people with dementia are women.
Posted by: Uticopa in Alzheimer's on
Aug 26, 2009
-
Forgetting a new acquaintance's name. We all do it.
-
Forgetting an old acquaintance's name. Embarrassing, but we all do this, too.
-
Remembering in the middle of the night that you forgot to put out tomorrow's rubbish bag for pick-up. The fact that you eventually remembered is positive.
-
You can't remember where you parked the car. Common.
-
Feeling you can't be bothered to attend book group, an activity you usually love.
-
Wanting to chill alone every so often is normal. However, don't make it a habit; isolating yourself socially is also a red flag for depression.
-
Losing your sunglasses - again. To misplace is human. To finally find the sunglasses in the refrigerator or the bin, on the other hand, is possible Alzheimer's.
-
Your partner elbows you at a party and says, "Oh please, don't tell that story again." Over the years, couples often build up a trove of anecdotes (how we met, the time we sat next to a movie star on a plane, how we bought our house at a bargain price, the day we learned our son was a genius). However, alarm bells should ring if you hear, "But you just told that story five minutes ago" - and not remembering doing so.
-
Not recognizing your own reflection for a second after a new haircut or new glasses. More worrying: Still thinking, after a moment's pause, that the person staring back at you in the mirror is someone else.
-
Forgetting an appointment, or arriving on the wrong day. Don't worry unless this is happening routinely, instead of once in a blue moon.
-
Feeling old and baffled because you can't work out how to text message, set up broadband access in your house or stream video to your TV set (though the 10-year-old next door can). However, worrying signs are when you can no longer follow a recipe or tell a cell phone from a TV remote.
-
Saying things like, "that thingamabob" or "you know, that actress who was in that movie ...". Common.
-
Can't find your car keys. Common. However, alarm bells should ring if you pick up a car key and you don't know what it's for.
What exactly is Alzheimer's, and who's at risk?
Although certain basic lifestyle changes can help delay the onset of the disease in some people, the exact cause of Alzheimer's disease isn't yet understood.
Alzheimer's is a progressive neurodegenerative brain disorder: Normal brain cell function is gradually destroyed, leading to irreversible declines in memory, cognition, and behavior. But what causes things to go awry remains unknown. It may be that Alzheimer's has several causes or that the interplay between genetic makeup and certain risk factors determines who's affected.
The way the human mind works is still unfathomable, even by the most eminent neurophysicians. For that reason, there are many adults walking around today who, although displaying typical symptoms of being on the autism-spectrum, have never been diagnosed. The spectrum is wide, ranging from mild Asperger's to full-blown autism.
Asperger's is a state of mind that typically affects the male ‘systems' part of the brain, rather than the female ‘emotional' areas. Amazingly, it was not even commonly recognised as a disorder at all until 1990. So, when a male child asks a question such as ‘how do the traffic lights know the cars have stopped?', warning bells should ring in parents' minds. It is a typical ‘aspie' query, based as it is on a slightly skewed sense of the world.
There is still general ignorance about the disorder, the average parent typically laughing at their child's odd question. Their son could not possibly have anything wrong with him because he is so quick with maths and computing, often displaying a manic sense of humour. One father was discussing society's increasing problem with his wife: ‘If there were 100 people in a room, one of them would have Asperger's'. Their ‘aspie' son, overhearing this, quickly retorted ‘You'd never get the aspie in the room!'
Posted by: Uticopa in work related stress on
Aug 17, 2009
Back in the ‘70s it was standard practice for mothers who wanted to earn some money to go to the many Temp Agencies on the market. It seemed ideal back then, in an age when the word ‘secretary’ was still en vogue, and there was a mass of women with those all-essential typing skills. It was especially useful if the children had by then started school. It allowed women that essential flexibility in their lives, knowing that if an emergency cropped up regarding the children or the home, it would be no big-deal to simply cancel that day’s temporary booking. The employer was happy in acquiring someone to complete a temporary task; the employee was happy to gain an extra source of income as well as a modicum of independence.
Oh, how times have changed!
In today’s world of increasing redundancies and company bankruptcies, desperate individuals are again turning to temporary work – anything in fact which will pay the mortgage until more permanent work comes along. But these days it isn’t just ‘mothers’ who are looking to ‘boost’ the family income. Increasing numbers of both men and women are looking for work, any work, that will make ends meet.
In so many ways our lives today are a vast improvement over those of our grandmothers’. We now have technology to fulfil our every need, and even some systems – like the much-vaunted ‘Cloud’ with its ‘big brother’ aspects – which George Orwell himself could not have imagined.
But in some ways, we still have much to learn from our forebears. Yes, life was harder in their day. However, the essential difference was in how they dealt with each other. They knew how to recognise, respect and deal with old age, in all its forms and frailties.
One can only wonder when that attitude is contrasted with today’s much-hyped media bombardment of all that is young, beautiful and famous. For females, in particular, to be seen as old today is catastrophic! Just ask Arlene Phillips, Selina Scott, Moira Stewart to name but a few. Many are the women who are forced to resort to plastic surgery, foolishly to keep up the appearance of youth. The media instil a fear of growing old within us with daily articles about how to look young and eliminate wrinkles.
Posted by: Uticopa in Untagged on
Aug 07, 2009
The British actor Hugh Dancy is taking an innovative route to stardom. He stars in ‘Adam’, a romantic comedy about Asperger’s syndrome – the first ever.
What makes this film medically-accurate is its ability to show adult relationships and the difficulties encountered when the man lacks that all-important empathy. Picture a typical marital scene where, after a blazing row, the woman finally calms down and says that little word ‘Sorry - it was all my fault’. In a ‘normal’ relationship, the man would empathise with her emotional feelings at this point and say something like ‘no, we’re both to blame really. I’m sorry too.’
But when the man (and typically Asperger’s is far more common in males) is on the Asperger’s spectrum, logic would then kick in. He would think, well, she’s said sorry so that means she’s admitted she was wrong. So, problem solved. Let’s move on.
Posted by: Uticopa in sport and mental health on
Jul 30, 2009
Not only are the Olympics coming to London in the next few years, but now the Rugby Union World Cup too. Never has there been a better time to gen up on all those sports which interest you and try to get fit yourself. No longer is it sufficient to merely be an armchair supporter. Taking part in your favourite sport will give you a body to be proud of, but that's not all. It isn't just the physical aspects that will improve your health. It's good for your mental health too.
Let's face it: it's been a long, hard few years for most of us. Maybe you have struggled with the economic down-turn or been unfortunate enough to lose your job. The stresses and strains have been a big burden for many of us, sometimes resulting in marital breakdown or mental health problems such as depression or worse.
Take the case of Leigh Bailey. His world was in tatters - he had a breakdown, lost his job, his wife and his children. He was so depressed he couldn't even bring himself to leave the house. Clearly he was suffering from low self-esteem. But today he is brimming with confidence and has recently qualified as a gym instructor.
And to what does he credit this dramatic transformation? He enrolled in a 10-week Boxercise course run jointly with the Croydon branch of Mind and three times world champion Duke McKenzie. Boxercise is a fitness class which incorporates a number of boxing moves and techniques, but without the physical contact.