Posted by: Uticopa in Aspergers on
Feb 01, 2009
Alan, 36, is a software programmer who met and fell in love with his girlfriend Lisa via an internet matchmaking site. They emailed for a few months before meeting face to face on their first date. At first Lisa was surprised that he didn't seem that interested and, at the end of the night, he kissed her on the cheek and asked to see her again. However, the more she saw of him, the more she relished his offbeat, quirky company. Also, she really appreciated his old-fashioned manner of holding doors open for her and happily carrying her parcels for her when they were out shopping.
It seemed like a match made in heaven. Alan was always courteous, polite and attentive and Lisa was a happy-go-lucky kind of girl, adoring and loving. However, it soon became apparent that something was not quite right. He didn't seem to care what anyone else thought of him. When he did take an interest in something, it would border on the obsessive.
It was after five months of their relationship that Lisa's feelings had deepened, but that was when everything started falling apart. As she craved more from their relationship, Alan seemed less and less willing or able to provide it. In turn, this made Lisa become more and more clingy and oversensitive as Alan showed all the feelings of disinterest. They started to argue, finally agreeing to split up. But, although in some ways Lisa was relieved at having to cope with his sometimes incomprehensibly insensitive behaviour, she missed him terribly.
Posted by: Uticopa in Alzheimers on
Jan 30, 2009
When actor Kevin Whately proudly posed with his mother Mary for his graduation ceremony back in 1996, he couldn't have known the highs and lows of what the future held. Not only would he lose his screen partner, John Thaw, but witness the agonising years of his mother's decline through Alzheimer's.
The actor, best known for his role in the ITV drama Inspector Morse, and its spin-off series, Lewis, has recently revealed the harsh reality of caring for a loved one who is suffering from dementia.
The TV actor, who came to fame in the 1980s in the award-winning Auf Wiedersehn Pet, before becoming firmly lodged in the national conscience as the sidekick of Inspector Morse, was one of four children born to Mary Whately, now 82.
Mary was a grammar school teacher who was widowed at the age of 42. Kevin describes her as a "fiercely independent woman" who became angry as her memory began to fail seven years ago. Mrs Whately, who lived in Northumberland all her life and had hoped to die there, was finally diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2003.
Posted by: Uticopa in postnatal depression on
Jan 22, 2009
When Charlotte Perkins Gilman wrote that disturbing 19th-century novella called 'The Yellow Wallpaper', she could hardly have known that it would later become a classic of feminist fiction. Even less could she have realised that at its heart was a pioneering portrait of the trauma of postnatal depression.
As the book is being reissued by Virago this year, it is interesting to note that, unlike her heroine, the author herself managed to break free from the oppressive shackles of her mind.
But, what was it about Gilman's short story that so evoked the mental anguish of women a century ago? And, could vestiges of how men saw women in days gone by still linger on even today? She wrote the story in part to escape the mastery of male doctors and to become the mistress of her own destiny.
First of all, let's look at what led to Gilman conceiving the story in the first place. For many years the author suffered from a severe and continuous nervous breakdown tending to what was then termed melancholia. This led her to consult a noted specialist in nervous diseases. This ‘wise' man put her to bed and applied the rest cure, to which her still good physique responded so promptly that he concluded there was nothing much the matter with her at all. He therefore sent her home with solemn advice to live as domestic a life as far as possible, to ‘have but two hours' intellectual life a day', and ‘never to touch pen, brush or pencil again' as long as she lived. This was in 1887.
Posted by: Uticopa in Untagged on
Jan 21, 2009
As Barack Obama is sworn in as 44th President of the United States, he has already changed the perceptions of the world. Not only is he the first black man to hold the office, not only has he altered our views of what a middle-aged man can look like, but crucially he has already changed the way men of the world feel about themselves and their image in the world.
Ever since Martin Luther King uttered those immortal words -
‘I have a dream, brothers and sisters....Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.. Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!..'
- man has struggled to free himself from tyranny. But, the tyranny still terrorising the world largely stems from man himself.
Let's take a look at modern man. Taken at a purely superficial level, we are used to political leaders playing the fitness card. Obama is in a totally different league to the tennis-playing Tony Blair, and he makes Vladimir Putin's recent bare-chested fishing shots look embarrassing.
Posted by: Uticopa in Untagged on
Jan 20, 2009
We live in a world where today's women are expected to juggle so many roles. I'm reminded of that circus act where someone tries to keep twelve plates spinning at one time, constantly needing to race back each time another plate starts to weaken. But for men too, life can be exasperating in its demands.
Today's man needs to fulfil far different roles than yesteryear - whether it be the need to take paternity leave, or that ever-demanding IT job and the stress of failure. In many ways, the strain on our mental health has never been so great.
I wonder if this is why so many people have forced themselves to make ‘to do' lists- ever-fearful of forgetting something important in the stresses of everyday living. What does your ‘to-do list' reveal about you? Sensible planner or time-waster? Or, maybe you've never made one at all, preferring to live your life unplanned, exactly as it happens, which would reveal even more!
At a recent seminar on bipolar disorder at St. Andrew's University, the personality Stephen Fry discussed his condition with psychiatric students and practitioners. He has also made a series of programmes for the BBC about his condition and how it famously manifested itself in 1995 when he walked out of the West End play Cellmates.
Other celebrities who also suffer from bipolar include Hollywood actors Richard Dreyfus and Carrie Fisher, and British comedians Tony Slattery and Jo Brand. It is interesting to note how sufferers working in the creative arts can diffuse their talents in such a positive way. Conversely, history is littered with undoubted sufferers who went undiagnosed: artists like Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf, Van Gogh and Hemingway.
There is an interesting character in Eastenders on BBC TV called Jean Slater (the mother of Stacey). In recent weeks, the storyline has followed Jean's personality fluctuations: from the highs when she was close to her son Sean, followed by the lows when he went away. It was only when Jean finally realised the seriousness of her condition that it was revealed she had bipolar disorder.
What exactly is bipolar disorder?
Posted by: Uticopa in Untagged on
Jan 16, 2009
What is this life if full of care
We have no time to stand and stare?
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep, or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this, if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
William Henry Davies 1871 - 1940
In this period following our January resolutions, a paradox creeps in. Don't they push our minds away from the present? There is nothing wrong in setting goals for yourself; in fact, that is an excellent way to stimulate our minds to become more positive. However, by so doing, make sure that you don't lose an awareness of the here and now.
To avoid worrying too much about the future, try savouring the present. In her memoir ‘Eat, Pray, Love' Elizabeth Gilbert wrote about a friend who, whenever she sees a beautiful place, exclaims in a near panic ‘It's so beautiful here! I want to come back here someday'. This person needed a lot of convincing that she was actually there in that beautiful place at that precise moment, so she should enjoy it right now.
Posted by: Uticopa in self help on
Jan 16, 2009
If Spock were here, he and Bones - the good doctor from the Starship Enterprise - would cure all our ills. How simple it would be if only we could go back in time to fix all those ‘if only' situations, then zoom forward at warp speed to ensure a perfect future.
Despite the fact that this is the real world, modern technology has actually come up with some innovative ideas to help. There is a free website www.futureme.org which lets you send an email to yourself up to 30 years in the future! What a wonderful way to concentrate your mind and do something positive for yourself. By so doing, it encourages you to think about the person you would really like to be.
According to the website founder, most users fall into two camps. There are those who are trying to remember past experiences, so that they can learn from their mistakes, and others who are looking more to the future in order to set goals for themselves.
Posted by: Uticopa in Untagged on
Jan 07, 2009
Rather like home pregnancy-detector kits, a new on-line PND awareness kit has been developed, based on the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale, first published in the British Journal of Psychiatry in 1987. So, there's now a way for you to find out whether what you are experiencing are actual PND symptoms - and in the comfort of your own home.
The Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale is a set of questions designed to see if a new mother may have depression. The answers will not provide a diagnosis - for that you need to see a doctor or other health professional. The answers will tell you however, if you, or someone you know, has symptoms that are common in women with PND. As with all illnesses, if you have concerns that you, or someone you know, has PND, please consult a health professional.
Here is the questionnaire:
To complete this set of questions, mothers should mark the number next to the response which comes closest to how they have felt IN THE PAST 7 DAYS.
Posted by: Uticopa in new year resolutions on
Jan 07, 2009
As Big Ben made its first chimes in the icy chill that heralded the New Year, many were those who decided to make a new year's resolution for the first time in their lives. After all the economic disasters of last year, it was perhaps inevitable there would be a collective inner wish for a better life in 2009. But are our resolutions doomed to failure as soon as life intrudes? Furthermore, do men make different New Year resolutions from women, and what can we learn from psychologists on how to sustain our inner pledges?
Prof Richard Wiseman, an eminent psychologist from the University of Hertfordshire, found that in smokers, only 12 per cent were successful in their resolution to stub out their last cigarette. Of those pledging to lose weight, only 28 per cent succeeded in avoiding the temptation to continue their largely sedentary habits.
To achieve success, men and women must follow different rules. Men are significantly more likely to succeed if asked to set a goal for themselves: for example, instead of trying to lose weight, focus on a measure of success, such as becoming more attractive to women.
