Posted by: Uticopa in children on
Mar 01, 2009
In the press recently has been an account of how Julie Myerson, an author mother, wrote the true story of her anguish in ordering her drug-taking son permanently from their home. If nothing else, it shows the huge gulf between the mindsets of parents and their offspring. But, who is at fault: the mother for apparently ‘failing to understand' her son's behaviour and for failing to nurture him no matter what, or the son for his supposedly narcissistic attitude to life? The mental anguish on both sides can lead - if not checked - to bouts of severe depression and even suicide.
Narcissism is the term used by psychologists to define often-disparaged youthful mindsets. We all recognise the syndrome and remember it well from our own youth. There is that inflated self-esteem, imagining yourself to be cleverer or more attractive than everyone else, as you chase that elusive future glory for yourself. Whilst in this syndrome, young people don't want to show that they seek warmth, intimacy and commitment in relationships - that would look weak. They go to great lengths to boost their value in the eyes of others by ‘me, me, me' attention-seeking, taking credit where it's not due, courting high-status trophy partners and friends, and constantly chasing public acclamation.
Although complaints about ‘today's youth' have been recorded in history ever since the beginning of time, recent studies have shown that there is a definite rise in narcissism this century. Arguably, the advantages are that narcissists tend to report high self-esteem, happiness and life-satisfaction. They are also often likeable, are good at performing in social situations, tend to win in brief competitive tasks and will put themselves forward as leaders (though they do not tend to make good ones in the long term).
Of all the tools to combat depression and negativity, humour is by far the best medicine - for both patient and doctor! Television and radio are both under-rated as purveyors of exactly this kind of medicine, no data ever being collected on the numbers of sick people made to feel appreciably better by switching-on at home and laughing uncontrollably at the comic of the day. From the comedians of yesteryear like Laurel and Hardy or Jack Benny, to Tommy Cooper or that special brand of comedian today like Jackie Mason who use ethnicity to make us laugh - we all have our favourites. By watching other people's mishaps, we laugh and feel instantly better.
But, is there a scientific reason for this? Here are a few examples:
Humour combats fear
Posted by: Uticopa in SAD on
Feb 23, 2009
Have you ever wondered why people living in the Mediterranean always seem so much happier than us? Picture for a moment the old women sitting in the evening sunshine outside their crumbling village homes - yet smiling and content with their lives. Well, why can't we be like that?
It's called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or the Winter Blues and is now officially recognised as a medical condition that affects two million people in the UK.
Centuries ago most people in the UK worked outdoors in natural light, starting at the break of dawn and ending at sunset. Today fewer than 10% work outdoors. Whilst this is fine in the summer months with longer daylight hours, in the winter people go to work in the dark and go home in the dark, so don't get enough natural daylight.
Posted by: Uticopa in postnatal depression on
Feb 06, 2009
We've all read about celebs who talk about suffering from post-natal depression (PND). In the old days, women in the news were often reluctant to discuss such problems, fearing they would be branded weak in a macho, male-dominated world. However, in recent times some well-known celebrities have spoken openly about their own PND. The list includes Sadie Frost (actress), Natasha Hamilton (former Atomic Kitten singer), Elle Macpherson (model), and TV presenters Melinda Messenger, Katie Price (aka Jordan) and Gail Porter. Additionally, American actress Brooke Shields has written a book about her own experience with PND. It's called ‘Down Came The Rain: A Mother's Story of Depression And Recovery'.
By speaking out, what all these women have done is help to lift some of the stigma associated with PND. Let's get a few facts.
What exactly is PND?
Post-natal depression or PND is the name given to depression that develops between one month and up to one year after the birth of a baby. It affects many women and can begin suddenly or develop gradually. However, it is important to distinguish postnatal depression (PND) from 'baby blues' and postnatal psychosis.
Posted by: Uticopa in postnatal depression on
Feb 05, 2009
I've been diagnosed with post-natal depression - why me?
It's not clear exactly what causes PND, although there are things that seem to increase the risk.
Like depression which occurs at any other time, PND doesn't have one definite cause - but it's likely to result from a combination of factors. A mixture of physical, biological and hormonal factors seem to put women at risk of experiencing depression following the birth of a baby including:
Posted by: Uticopa in IQ, dementia, children on
Feb 04, 2009
As Gordon Brown unveils his new package of proposals offering special dementia ‘memory clinics' where the man in the street can go to check out his own susceptibility to the disease, it is interesting to note how even our childhood can have an effect. So now, as people are asked to ‘count backwards progressively from 100 by 7 each time' - making them recall their mental arithmetic lesson from school - there may be further links hitherto unrealised.
Scientists have now discovered a link between childhood IQ levels and a type of dementia. The discovery could help scientists better understand what causes the form of the disease which affects more than 100,000 people in Britain.
A study by Edinburgh University has found that lower intelligence levels in childhood increase the risk of developing vascular dementia later in life by as much as 40 per cent.
Posted by: Uticopa in children on
Feb 04, 2009
Modern technological advances have brought hitherto undreamed of possibilities for young people today. From Facebook to i-Pods to i-Phones, the world is your oyster today. But are we deluding ourselves? Have we introduced our youngsters to dangers that many of us don't even realise yet alone understand?
In post-war Britain, children had a ready-made structured society where there were definite limits and guidelines to their well-ordered lives. Whether they liked it or not, society was geared so that everyone recognised those who were in positions of authority: those such as policemen and teachers whom you looked up to as sources of respect and information.
But then came the advent of the cyber-age, one-parent families and working mothers, robbing many children of support and parents to look up to, with the result that they now turn to celebrities as role models.
Posted by: Uticopa in children on
Feb 04, 2009
Many years ago, long before the advent of the computer age, the upbringing of our young children during school holidays and weekends followed a similar pattern. Children would be sent out to play and told to return at tea-time.
Those of us who remember such a time recall long, long days of imaginative play with other children who lived in the same street. Rarely did a child have something constructive to play with; rather, children constructed their own games using local amenities such as playgrounds, parks and alleys between houses as simple backdrops. Yes, there probably were dangers out there in those times, but because they weren't constantly trumpeted from every media outlet available, parents used their common-sense and relied on their instincts a lot more. Back then, particularly in the immediate post-war years, children were simply happy to be free of restrictive parental controls, relishing the freedom to run, jump and enact elaborate role-playing games. Playtime was a time to live in that vast, creative, imaginative world where anything was possible. But, unfortunately, that world seems to have disappeared.
It was therefore interesting to see a recent independent report on the state of childhood today. It was commissioned by The Children's Society and carried out by Lord Layard, the Labour peer, and Professor Judy Dunn, a child psychologist at the Institute of Psychiatry.
Posted by: Uticopa in social phobia on
Feb 04, 2009
Have you ever felt that you don't fit in at social gatherings? Maybe you have always had a low opinion of yourself, expect others to be equally critical and are constantly attuned to that first sign of rejection? This oversensitivity leads you to interpret benign feedback as negative, leaving you feeling distressed and wanting to go home again.
We are all meant to be sociable creatures. One of the first things we learn as babies is to copy mother's smile as she gazes adoringly down at us. We desire and need others' company to help us along life's long and twisted pathways. Deep down, we know that we will always need people, particularly at critical points in our lives.
Yet, even the most confident of us can feel uncertain in daunting social situations - whether it's that first speech in front of our peers or even what to wear for that office party. It's something to do with the fear that we may be judged and found wanting. It's undoubtedly true that we are all afraid of social failure simply because most of us judge ourselves too harshly.
Posted by: Uticopa in worrying, anxiety on
Feb 03, 2009
When we reach that point in life when the middle years have passed, would we have done things differently if we had somehow gained the wisdom that comes from learning from our own mistakes?
They say that education is wasted on the young. When we are adolescent, suffused by swirling hormones and an intolerable need to impress our peers, how can we concentrate on learning those school subjects that will be so essential to our future life? How to show due diligence at schoolwork when the very act of striving for perfection brings a swathe of disdain and criticism from the very peers we so want to impress? We listen to school friends who say ‘why do I need to learn French? I'll never need that - I want to be a train-driver'.
The very fact of being a child, by definition, means that you can't possibly know or envisage a future, mature, life where unforeseen opportunities abound and hitherto undreamed of possibilities may require you to use those very skills that you disparaged so long ago.
